Well, I’ve been wanting to start this blog/diary of sorts since the first time I found out I’m pregnant but clearly, I’ve been procrastinating since at the time of this post, I’m 24 weeks pregnant with Ayshan. So, this first post is going to be a tad long as I try to remember what I had gone through the past 5 months with Ayshan.
(1-2 weeks pregnant)
Today, I woke up and had the sudden craving to eat a heavy breakfast. Specifically, mee rebus. I don’t usually do heavy breakfast; my breakfast usually consist of 2 slices of bread or a bagel with coffee. But I decided to drag the husby out for a heavy breakfast.
The husby and I have been trying to get pregnant for a couple of months and we hoped that our most recent 2-weeks vacation to Europe had assisted us with this journey. As of today, I was 29 days past my LMP (last menstrual period). I am hopeful but not overly because my hormones had only returned back to normalcy last month (I was on birth control pills since we got married). Somehow, I felt different today. I can’t explain it. And although I am only 1 day late (based on a 28-day cycle), I decided to buy a pregnancy test kit. It was a faint positive sign on the kit. Faint, but the positive sign was still undeniable. I was ecstatic and I took a picture of the pee-stained stick and sent it to the husby.
Later that day, to further confirm, I bought another test kit of another brand to test. This time, the pink line of the test kit was unmistakable. Being a typical kiasu person, when husby fetched me after work, we went to buy a digital test kit which tells us that we are 1-2 weeks pregnant.
The next couple of days, the husby made an appointment with Thomson Women’s Clinic at Tampines Centre for us to confirm the pregnancy. We were so happy, we did not expect that anything could go wrong.
On 26 May 2015, we went to see Dr Wong Heng Fok. He used a trans-vaginal probe to detect my pregnancy but I knew something was not right after he took more than just a few seconds of probing. And then the dreaded words came…”I can’t find the fetus.” (for info, he did find an ovary cyst about 3cm in diameter but he said that a lot of pregnant women develop this cyst and that it’s nothing to worry about) This is the ultrasound scan of an empty uterus.
Dr Wong said that based on my LMP, I should be about 5 weeks pregnant and proceeded to show us a picture of what he should be able to locate at 5 weeks. Basically, a gestational sac. Which was not there. He then uttered the words “ectopic” and “miscarriage”, after which, my ears blocked out. I was confused. I didn’t know how to react. Like I said, we were not prepared for any negative news. Well, to be fair, Dr Wong did say that it could be too early for the fetus to be detected but he repeated again that based on my LMP, he should already be able to see something. Dr Wong told me to come back in a couple of days to test my HCG level, to confirm if it’s still rising, and to see him again in a week’s time, in case it was truly a case of “too early to tell”.
For info, if your HCG level does not double up and remain stagnant, it most probably means it’s an ectopic pregnancy. And of course, if it declines, means that you’re heading for a miscarriage.
Initially, I remained my composure but when I texted my mum to tell her the awful news, I couldn’t help crying when I saw her reply. She told me to remain strong and have faith in God. Throughout the days, I cried so much, my eyes were swollen each day. I kept asking myself, “how can I feel so much sorrow for someone who’s not even there or may not be there?”
I can safely say that it was the worst week of my life. The husby works on shift and by sheer luck, he was working both days that weekend and my dear mum who has been my pillar for 31 years of life was going on vacation. I was literally left alone during that weekend. How did I pass my time? I googled. I googled for all the symptoms I should be looking out for, in case I was having an ectopic pregnancy and kept checking for spotting, in case I was gonna miscarry. It was hell. My own personal hell. I didn’t want to tell anyone, not even my best friends, because they are the bestest friends I can ever have and I know that if I told them the news, they would rush to my side and the last thing I wanted was to talk about it and be in greater despair that I already was.
(2-3 weeks pregnant but 5 weeks based on LMP)
On 2 June 2015, we went back to see Dr Wong. This time, no happy thoughts were circling in my head. In fact, I was bracing myself for the worst. Dr Wong informed me that my HCG results were good. It had doubled after 2 days. This time, when he did the trans-vaginal ultrasound, he was able to find the fetus the moment the probe entered.
There you have it, the gestational sac and the yolk sac inside the womb! At that time, we were told that we were 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I was so happy, I started tearing up. Dr Wong still had the cheek to ask me, “Why you cry? You nervous is it?” To which I replied, “Of course la! Because of you, I was so worried about having an ectopic pregnancy or that I would miscarry!” Dr Wong apologised to both me and husby for causing our anxiety and the both of us let out our breaths in relief. Our EDD then was 28 January 2016.
(8 weeks 2 days pregnant)
We went back to see Dr Wong again for our 2nd month check up. You can see that the gestational sac is starting to fill up with the shape of a tiny baby.
This time, not only did we get to see the baby, we get to hear his heartbeat too. It was such an awesome moment, being able to hear the heartbeat of our baby. His heartbeat was going at 170 per minute and Dr Wong said that this is perfectly normal. We were informed that our EDD has shifted back by 2 days to 30 January 2016 and that it is not a problem as EDDs tend to shift around. He also updated that my cyst was still there but that it should “clear up” as I progress in my pregnancy. It was a good visit.
(OSCAR Scan at 12 weeks 5 days pregnant)
We were scheduled to go for an OSCAR scan between 11 weeks to 14 weeks of pregnancy. We did our scan at Thomson Women Imaging at Pacific Plaza.
The OSCAR scan is done to check for any fetal anomalies, in particular, Down’s Syndrome. A blood test will also be conducted to test for the usual stuff such as gestational diabetes, blood count, etc.
Here’s our little man (of course, at that time, we didn’t know he was gonna be a baby boy), snuggling in his own private “condo”. During the scan, we saw him sucking his thumb and basically, being an active boy. We were so happy to see him and were in awe. TBH, we are constantly in awe each and every time we get to see him. And now that we know the pregnancy is advancing well, a trip to see Dr Wong is much anticipated instead of dreaded.
A week later, we saw Dr Wong to obtain the results of the OSCAR scan and was informed that the chance of our baby having DS is low. The husby and I constantly pray that it will remain to be true. The thing about the OSCAR scan is that it gives you the ratio of the possibility that your baby may not have DS. It does not definitively tells you that your baby does not have DS. TBH, a good ratio, of say 1:3000, does not matter if you happen to be the 1, isn’t it? Therefore, it is imperative to both the husby and me that we continue to pray for Ayshan’s good health.
(17 weeks 2 days pregnant)
We went back to Dr Wong for our monthly routine scan, who commented that our baby will most likely be a boy as he could see “something”. But he still said that we have to wait for our detailed scan on our 5th month to confirm the gender. At this time, husby and I already decided up a name for our baby and it is Ayshan Adnan. Ayshan in Arabic means “worthy of God” and Adnan is a name of a warrior (husby has this thing about wanting a strong warrior name for our son). I think I will just call him Shan, as he is growing up. 🙂
(20 weeks 5 days pregnant)
We were scheduled for another detailed scan called the Fetal Anomaly (FA) scan at Thomson Women Imaging. We were lucky to be given the same sonographer as the one we had for our OSCAR scan. She was thorough, nice and generally made me feel comfortable about the whole process. I heard from other mummies that some sonographer can be quite rough or curt. The scan this time takes so much longer as a full scan of all the baby’s limbs and organs are supposed to be checked. If your baby does not cooperate, the process may take up to 2 hours. Some mummies were even told to take a walk or have lunch, so that the baby faces the right direction. The gender of the baby can also be confirmed during this scan.
Well, now we can confirm that we’re indeed having a baby boy with chunky thighs! 🙂
We also had a glimpse of Ayshan’s face, sleeping peacefully. Oh, such joy. I love him so much already. I can’t wait to hold Ayshan in my arms and kissing him and smelling his addictive baby smell.
Anyway, I digress. We had to go back to Dr Wong on the same day, in the evening. I was told that this was normal as the gynae needs to advise you accordingly, in case fetal anomalies were found. Our results were good, except the fact that Ayshan is bigger than normal. He’s in the 98th percentile, compared to other babies around the same EDD. But that is to be expected, especially since I myself was a big baby and our genes (husby’s and mine) are made up of large and tall people.
It has been a wonderful pregnancy period for me (1st month horrors aside). I was lucky not to have any morning sickness during my first trimester. Although, I did developed aversion for chicken in the second month, as well as smell aversion in the third month. However, nothing too serious until I needed rest and it subsided after the first trimester. In the first trimester, I also had cramps similar to menstrual ones and I was prescribed duphaston pills for 10 days, to support the pregnancy.
I’ve gained about 9kg so far, attributing to the fact that I did not have morning sickness and was able to have full meals from day 1 of my pregnancy (other mummies put on much lesser due to morning sickness). Dr Wong advised to keep it at 2kg per month and I had exceeded the 2kg cap during the Hari Raya month, where I ate like a champion (who can resist lontong and rendang?? Never!), and during my 4th month of pregnancy when the husby and I went to Perth for a “Babymoon”.
Well, we’re scheduled to see Dr Wong during Ayshan’s 25th week and I will continue to update further on our progress.