We went to see Dr Wong when we were 38 weeks 1 day pregnant. Another cervix check showed that we’re still closed and not due to give birth so soon. That was on 15 January 2016. Husby and I continued doing what we can…going for long walks and shopping but by then, I was seriously very tired of being pregnant. Yes, the pregnancy journey has been wonderful but I was physically tired. The strain on the back was taking a toll on me and the rest that I never fully get anymore as sleeping positions were limited.
On Monday, 18 January 2016, I started feeling slight contractions throughout the night and I decided to start my maternity leave that week to concentrate on trying to go into labour. Nothing happened.
Until the morning of 20 January 2016. I woke up around 6am to go to the toilet and discovered that my underwear has been soiled, due to water bag leakage. Woke husby up, informed Dr Wong, and made our way to Thomson Medical Centre. We were brought to the delivery suite where the nurse did a cervix check on me and told me that I was 1cm dilated. At that time, the contractions were highly manageable. Ard 10am, Dr Wong came and he did another cervix check; a painful one. He stretched the cervix and more water came gushing out. After lunch, I was sent to the ward first (this is so that we don’t have to pay an exorbitant fee by staying at the delivery suite as it is charged by the hour).
At 4pm, I was brought to the labour ward and after yet another painful cervix check which showed that I was still 1cm dilated, Dr Wong ordered a drip for me to make the contractions more powerful. And since then, it was hell. the contractions from 5 mins apart, came to 1 min apart painfully. I had earlier requested for epidural to be administered but Dr Wong said that I shld only start taking epi when I’m at least 3cm dilated. By 6pm, I was in tears at practically every contraction that I insisted to have epi, even though I was still at 1 freaking cm.
The epidural procedure was a highly traumatising event for me.
The anesthetist came, and asked my husby to wait outside the delivery suite (Apparently, this is normal as husbands are not allowed to watch the procedure). He then asked me to move myself towards the edge of the hospital bed and curl up into a ball. I did. And then, it started. He asked, “Is this the best you can do?” I was flabbergasted by the question. Mind you, I was having 1 min apart painful contractions and a 3kg baby lodged in me. Of course, it was the f*cking best I could do! I answered him, “yes.” And then he went on to say how I shouldn’t move during the procedure else there would be serious repercussions. Because I was at the edge of the bed, curled up into a ball, I cldn’t grab hold of anything during the epi administration to will the pain away. So, I groaned. And what did the doctor say? He said, “Don’t groan. You are distracting me.” I’m like…WTF! I’m the one in pain, and I have to care about distracting HIM? You gotta be kidding me. It was so painful that I had to ask the nurse to hold my hand. It was THAT pathetic. The nurse offered me her FINGERS which I guess she was scared I was gonna break them or something. She did nothing for me. NOTHING. After the doctor administered the epi, he suddenly said, “you’re pushing it out, you’re pushing it out”. Again, I’m curled up into a ball, at the edge of the bed, afraid to move as I was warned of the SERIOUS REPERCUSSIONS, and he is saying I’m pushing something out. Like, seriously?? And then he said, “you see la..you pushed it out, I have to do it again.” Oh, I’m so effing sorry, dear doctor, that YOU have EXTRA work to do. I’m sooooo sorry to have inconvenience you.
After going through this shitty ordeal, I wish I had better news. But I don’t. The epidural did not work on me. I still felt pain, although slightly lesser, but pain, nonetheless. Even after giving maximum dosage, the pain was still excruciating. When the nurses told me they had to call the doctor again for his advice, I vehemently told them, while crying profusely that I wanted another anesthetist. The nurses thought that I was crying due to the pain but I clarified that I was, in actual fact, crying because of the traumatising ordeal. In fact, whenever I recall the ordeal and as I am typing this out, I am also crying. I do not wish for anyone to have gone through what I did.
At about 9+, Dr Wong came to see my progress and was informed by the nurses who did the cervix check earlier that I was still at 1cm and that my baby has already pooped inside. So, we had no choice. If I had been dilated closer to 10cm, Dr Wong may have waited for natural delivery but because I was still at 1 freaking cm (dunno cervix must be so tight for what), c-section was the only option. The problem was, epidural did not work and in order for Dr Wong to cut me open, I needed to feel numb from waist down. He gave us 2 options; to try for a second dose of epidural or deliver through general anesthesia. We opted to try the epidural again and unfortunately, again it did not work. When Dr Wong told me that I had no choice but to deliver thru GA, my whole body trembled on the OT table. I was so scared that I was going to die or that GA will also not work. And in the midst of being scared, I also thought that it would be really sad for me to die, having to see the anesthetist’s face as the last face before I died. I didn’t even get to see my husby because he was outside getting scrubbed. As the decision was made for me to deliver via GA, husby was also not allowed to see me (if it’s thru epidural, husby is allowed in the OT). My dear husby only saw me 2 hours after the birth of our son, when I was wheeled back to the ward. Husby told me that he was so worried about me that his heart was thumping so fast, that he was afraid it might collapse. Seeing medical staff going in and out of the OT definitely didn’t alleviate his fears.
I was glad that I was able to wake up from the GA and see my husby’s face and embrace my son, finally. I’m sad that I didn’t manage to witness the delivery of my son, and neither did my husby. But I’m glad that my little precious boy made it, despite all the shit I had to go through.
Welcome to this world, Ayshan Adnan. Mummy and daddy promise that you will forever be loved unconditionally.
Born on 20 January 2016, 2208hrs.